The Naughty Mommy

Time Flies....

2011-09-19T00:25:00.001-07:00

‎18 years with JB! Guess our love is all grown up now....

2011-02-04T10:50:00.000-08:00

Domestic Romantical Thoughts Leading up to V-Day:

On our drive to the mechanic in two separate cars, from behind I can tell JB doesn't know which way to go. I turn on my signal directing him, he gives me thumbs up. Later he says, "We're really good car communicators. I like that." I can tell by his look he thinks it's somehow romantic. Which makes me feel, well, romantic. It's ain't rocket science, guys!

We agree the trip was a good metaphor for marriage: two people driving two separate cars, (hopefully) to the same place.

Love, Marriage and the Baby Carriage

2010-09-06T16:07:00.000-07:00

What they don't tell you about love, marriage and kids, I will....

Good in Bed!

2010-09-01T10:50:00.000-07:00

I want to share some of the great conversation going on at www.goodinbed.com, COME ON OVER and join us. Logan Levkoff is just one of our many great experts!

Logan Levkoff | Aug 16, 2010 at 9:15 PM | Reply | Report
I think that it's important to remember that we are bombarded with hundreds of messages that inadvertently sabotage our relationships. Think of all of our magazine stories: "Have the hottest sex ever!" "Make it like it was when you first met!" "Spice up your sex life!" Sure, it's done in an effort to help you relationships, but it makes us believe that there are clear cut ways to get back to that infatuation stage. Relationships evolve. And while you may not have the time (nor desire) to jump each other's bones every two minutes, a deeper respect and intimacy should have developed. Contrary to our tabloid and celebrity relationships, the grass isn't always greener.

Heidi Raykeil | Aug 18, 2010 at 1:49 AM | Reply | Report
After 17 years of intimately knowing my husband (hey, who says one night stands never work out...) we've certainly had our ups and downs, our infatuation stages, our plain old fat stages, our boring stages and now...I have to say that our sex has grown up right along with us. When I really think about it, it wasn't that the sex was so great back in those early years (though it was acrobatic) - it was that our emotions were so heated; it was the passion that came along with the sex. And while that passion is certainly harder to find now, there is a balancing benefit of being with one person so long: all the trust and predictability allows for all kinds of fun and honest sexual exploration. So while we have to keep finding ways to renew some of the passion we've grown out of (maybe, for instance, by finding passion for a shared cause, or for raising our kids together or for lazily divvying up the Times on Sunday mornings), in the meantime we can console ourselves with great sex.

True Lurve

2010-09-01T10:49:00.001-07:00

Anniversary advice, after 17 years:
Her: Go ahead and go to bed mad
His: Surrender early, and often

Shake It, Ladies

2010-09-01T10:43:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XaruNs_7okY&feature=player_embedded

The Sex Nerd Speaks! Listen Up, Ladies

2010-08-19T00:11:00.000-07:00

Your body flaws are proof of real beauty, or as "Sex Nerd" Emily Nagoski says, "Real things have scratches." Here's to being alive, and imperfect.

Hump Day!

2010-08-18T01:00:00.000-07:00

Here's your hot homework for the week: Bring back weekday sex. Make hump day earn it's name! For inspiration, listen to this podcast on the way home from work, or instead of watching bad TV, or together, after the kids are asleep. Make Wednesday work, folks!

Suckling and Sex-ing

2010-08-04T00:22:00.000-07:00

In honor of World Breastfeeding week, let’s talk nursing babies and nursing a happy, healthy post-baby sex life. This topic came up recently when an article published by beliefnet.com called, “Moms, Don’t Forget to Feed Your Marriages,” started circulating, in which the author shares his thoughts on how breastfeeding can come between partners. (Breastfeeding a baby, that is, not each other…that’s for another upcoming post!). Needless to say, he got a lot of flack for it. And while I agree he deserved that flack, I do think he was (lamely) trying to express what I’ve heard from lots of dads, that they often feel left out, neglected, even like they are competing with their little one for mom’s affection. The thing is, of course, you can have those problems whether you breastfeed or not. And while breastfeeding can sometimes feel like the nail in the coffin of post baby sex, this recently-finally-done-nursing naughty mama says you sure can “feed your marriage” and still feed your baby -- with your breasts! So, for those of you breast-deep in it right now, here are a couple tips from someone who has been there:

-- Lack of libido: Thanks, hormones. Time to boost that lost libido in lots of other ways: exercise, time for yourself, sleep, good birth control, done dishes…(I’ve got a couple books on the subject if you need more...)

-- Breasts spraying or leaking during sex: keep a sexy bra on. This can also help if you feel overly sensitive or tender. I loved the one I splurged on from Bellamaterna!

-- Vaginal Dryness: Did you know this is a “side effect” of nursing? So, make like a boy scout and be prepared with lots of nice lube.

-- Mom Has Trouble Shifting Gears/Baby Interrupt-us: If you get interrupted you can consider it foreplay for the next time. Or, get the baby back down and switch settings, have a small glass of wine, a shower, get away from all things baby. And for heaven’s sake get a good monitor.

-- Baby Wakes Up and Wants to Nurse. Like, a lot: Nap whenever you can. Don’t get so you have to choose between sleep and sex, ‘cause that’s a no-brainer.

Fake it to Make it!

2010-08-03T00:24:00.000-07:00

Join the conversation this week on Female Orgasm - www.goodinbed.com/discuss Dr. Emily Nagoski is on call this week! Log in to see my comments on the difference between faking it -- and fakin' it to make it...

Bored in the Bedroom?

2010-07-30T11:07:00.000-07:00

People change. Relationships change. Why should your sex life stay the same? Falling into a routine is natural, but what do you do when sexual boredom starts to settle in?

What Have You Done For Me Lately

2010-07-26T00:40:00.000-07:00

So what has your body done for you this week? Here are mine:

Slept. In. Is there anything more to say than this?

Fresh apricots. Ate ‘em.

Neck nibbles. Salty skin. Hot sex on a cool leather couch. (Directly related to #1 since I was rested and able to stay up past little ones bedtime…)

Back to loving that body...

2010-07-26T00:39:00.000-07:00

You know good body image is good for sex, but did you know that sex is good for your body??

Things That Make Me Want To Have Sex

2010-07-24T01:01:00.000-07:00

I hear from a lot of women that sex is the furthest thing from their minds. This is unfortunate, since the mind really is the biggest sex organ, and a great place to jumpstart a lost libido. This weekend, notice any sex related thoughts you have, no matter how small. The more you notice them, the more you'll think them.... To help you get started, I'll share my past week of sexy thoughts with a little breakdown I like to call: TTMMWTHS (Things That Made Me Want To Have Sex)

Here we go. This week's TTMMWTHS are...

1.) The way my dress fit yesterday at a party; made it look like I actually had a bootie, and when the wind blew it up my legs I wondered who saw.

2.) The way the young soccer referee looked at me when I had to change shirts right next to him.

3.) The smell of JB after he has been in the sun; the smell of sun on skin in August, the same month we met in 16 years ago.

4.) The show True Blood. Pretty much every episode. I know I'm late to the game with this one but damn, Team Bill! (No one tell me any spoilers, we're only on the sexond, I mean second season, lots more Bill to cum, I mean of course, come.)

What's up, ladies?

2010-07-21T23:01:00.000-07:00

From www.goodinbed.com According to a recent article in the Wall Street Journal, 83% of men enjoy sex a great deal, while only 59% of women feel the same way. That means that nearly 1 out of 2 women aren't being satisfied to "their full satisfaction." What does foreplay have to do with it? Come on by the forum and see....

Sex at Dawn

2010-07-20T00:13:00.000-07:00

I do like morning sex, but I'm talking about the book....Are we meant to be monogamous? I haven't read the book yet, but I like anything that points out that 'happily ever after' doesn't come without a whole lotta work.
"The American sense of relationships and sexuality tends to be very informed by Hollywood: It’s all about the love story. But the love story ends at the wedding and doesn't go into the 40 years that comes after that."

{no idea why this is all caps. sorry for yelling}

Feel Better About Your Body, Feel Better in Bed

2010-07-19T00:48:00.002-07:00

I’m not talking losing weight or shaving. I’m talking about loving, or at least going a little easier on, what you’ve got. What are three positive experiences your body gave you this week-end? Here are mine:

Felt the quintessential summertime sensation of sun warming my skin from above and grass tickling from underneath

Breathed face to face with my baby, who no longer has baby breath, but still has baby skin

Raced (okay, it’s a one speed) down the street on my bike with the neighbor kid who just learned to ride without training wheels. Felt ecstatic for her, with her.

1.)

She Gotta Bump

2010-07-19T00:48:00.001-07:00

For you naughty mommies with bump: "Don’t be worried ‘bout your amniocentesis, I wanna eat you up like a bag o’ recess pieces…”

Advice for Young Girls from the Little Mermaid

2010-07-17T23:23:00.000-07:00

As my littlest one hits the princess phase, I'm digging Second City's "Advice for Young Girls from the Little Mermaid" -- Highlights include: "Never be comfortable in the body you've been given" and "My best feature is my voice, so I sold it for plastic surgery"

Good in Bed

2010-07-16T00:43:00.001-07:00

Check out the fun and informative discussion going on at my co-author Ian Kerner's brand spankin' new website www.goodinbed.com. This week's topic: FOREPLAY. You know you love it. Click on 'discuss', sign in as yourself or something a little more anonymous (hungrymama123 ?) and let the questions/opinions roll. You'll find me there, chiming in now and then, as well.

Facebooking it

2010-07-14T15:00:00.000-07:00

Come on by and "Like" me....

Also trying to figure out how to tweet @TheNaughtyMommy.....

Moms Are Sexy Too

2010-05-19T20:58:00.000-07:00

From the Sacramento Book Review....

Good to Go!

2009-01-30T12:37:00.000-08:00

I'm happy to say my newest book, Love in the Time of Colic: The New Parents' Guide to Getting it on Again is finally out. You can pick it up at any local bookstore or online.

Here we are on the Today Show....

2009-01-13T20:16:00.001-08:00

Coming soon, January 27th, 2009

Brand New Baby...

2008-09-29T21:00:00.000-07:00

I'm happy to announce the upcoming birth of my newest baby, Love in the Time of Colic: The New Parent's Guide to Getting it on Again. You can pre-order on Amazon now!

Here’s the Birth Story: Seven years ago, after the birth of my older daughter, Ramona, I suddenly found my once level libido was missing in action. Where once my husband and I had enjoyed fun nights of sexy naughtiness, now it was just more . . . not. Thus began an ongoing exploration of hanky panky and hokey pokey that began with an anonymous online column and ended with a memoir about my bumpy path back to the bedroom. While I received great thanks and feedback on Confessions, I was also quickly bombarded with two questions: “Where’s the how-to manual?” and “When does the guy’s version come out?” Not being a guy—or a doctor (although I like to play one sometimes…)—I figured the jig was up. And then I met bestselling author and therapist Ian Kerner, PH.D. Not only was he a real life sexpert and a man, but a new dad, too. And how can you go wrong with someone who writes a book called: She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman? Within weeks we started collaborating.

In many ways Colic is a sequel to Confessions, a natural consequence of my first book…sort of like my one-year-old daughter Mercy is a natural consequence of finding that lost libido again. And a natural way to put new challenges to again as well. As parents and professionals, Ian and I are living this topic every day; we’re dimpled knee deep in it too! Happily, we’ve both learned (each respectively, thank you very much) the hard (pun) way that it really is possible to do the hokey pokey and keep up the hanky panky, or to read the children’s book Hop on Pop, and then actually want to hop on pop. In our book we often reach this conclusion from very different perspectives at times, but what we both agree on is that sex matters . . . a lot. Parents can give their children everything, but nothing is a substitute for parental happiness. And in our opinion, sex is the glue that holds couples together and keeps lovers from simply becoming roommates or co-parents. It’s also the good sticky stuff that dries up if left alone for too long. Here are some signs your love life has gotten a little stale after baby:

• The mind-blowing sex you used to have now just blows
• The TV is turned on more than you are
• You want to want sex, you just . . . don’t
• You’d rather go on a play-date than another bad date-
night
• The baby gets more kisses and cuddles than you do
• You’re beaten down and (beating off) from always having
to initiate sex
• You have a user-id like “sexydad” or “hungrymama1”
• Foreplay has become chore-play
• “Let’s get it on” are now fighting words
• You’d rather sleep than sleep with your partner

Sound familiar? Don’t panic—you don’t have to throw out the baby with the dirty bathwater. The good news is, because we’ve been there ourselves we won’t try to sell you a bill of goods we know won’t work; we both agree we can’t you a quick seven step program or promise great sex in just ten days. But by joining us, you’ve taken the first real step in making things right. You’ve started a lifelong conversation about sex and long-term love and how to keep that from becoming an oxymoron. Although we’ve purposely kept the tone of this book light and breezy and fun, the truth is, as we like to say here in Parentland, it’s not all fun and games. What we’re really asking you to do is take a good hard (hopefully!) look at yourself and your partner—to actively participate in the exercises and open this seriously sexless can of worms. Yes—It takes courage and strength to go there with us, but it’s worth it. As you read this book, you’ll learn what pitfalls to watch out for, what you can do to get sex going again, and hopefully, a little about yourself and each other that you didn’t know before.